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An Exercise in Building Trust

I have done this simple exercise in building trust numerous times with teams.

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I can’t even start to describe the power and effect it had on all those teams...especially in building trust.

So many times, people have totally changed their attitude towards others.

Some people have changed their lives.

Let me give you an example of the power of this exercise.

A while ago, I was working with a team where everyone was irritated with this one lady in the team. She would knock of every afternoon at 4pm, while the rest work until 5pm.

During this exercise she told the rest of the team how she’s in this abusive relationship with her son. He abused her and her boyfriend almost every evening…physically and emotionally. While the tears were running she shared how she has tried everything to improve the relationship.

Her boyfriend usually knocks of at 4pm in the afternoon and she just couldn’t afford to let him and her son alone in the house.

She also told them how she hate going home in the afternoon, and how she can’t wait to get to work every morning, especially Monday mornings. She just couldn’t stand being at home any more.

The rest of the team’s sat there and listened with their mouths open. They always perceived her as a lazy person. Well, not surprisingly they didn’t view her in that light after she told them this.

All of a sudden they understood why she was leaving so early every afternoon. They started supporting her. One of her co-workers introduced her to a good therapist and today she is no longer suffering from that relationship.

So, like I have mentioned, this is potentially a very powerful exercise in building trust. It won’t be as dramatically with every team, but if you have the courage to embark on it, it can go a long way in building trust

Purpose of this Trust Building Exercise

  • To give employees an opportunity to communicate honestly and openly with others, allowing all “masks” to drop.

  • Building emotional trust.

  • Create team bonding through a better understanding of others and what has impacted their lives


Time required

90 Minutes

The Process

  • Divide your team in smaller groups of six. This is not essential. It is actually better to do it with the whole team, but it might take an hour or two longer

  • Let everyone sit in a circle on chairs. DON’T SIT AROUND A TABLE. This may sound as unimportant, but it’s crucial for the success of the activity.

  • Everyone get 6 minutes to answer the following question:

    IF YOU KNEW THIS ABOUT ME, YOU WOULD BETTER UNDERSTAND WHO I AM AS A MEMBER OF THIS TEAM.

  • Let them talk for the full 6 minutes. Most people start with the safer information first. Their CV, job, school etc. This information is usually “finished” after 6 minutes. Then they are forced to talk about the important things

  • Come to an agreement beforehand that everyone will be challenged to talk for the full 6 minutes. If they are finished after 3, then you sit in silence for 3 more minutes.

  • It is a monologue. Nobody else should ask questions or comment on anything. Give them a chance to speak for the full 6 minutes.

  • You might want to mention that you are looking for things that would help the rest of the team to get to know them better. The happiest moments of their lives. The saddest. What motivates them? When did they have their first kiss? What makes them happy or sad, etc.

  • Encourage the team to stay away from just giving their CV’s. We are interested in the individual, not their CV’s.

  • The team members can go as deep or shallow as they want. The only criteria is to challenge yourself. If you feel slightly uncomfortable sharing something, you’ve hit the spot. I always say that if your CV is at the one end of the spectrum and your deepest darkest secrets on the other end, we are looking for the stuff in between.
A couple of pointers to remember:

  • This activity can make people feel emotionally uncomfortable. A lot of people deal with this by cracking jokes or pass funny comments. Challenge them not to do it.

  • If some people get emotional during this activity, don’t worry. It will help in bringing the human element into the mix. Don’t panic, this usually doesn’t happen.

  • Start the session with your own 6 minutes. This way, you can set the tone for the rest of the session


Building Trust at a Deeper Level by Debriefing the Exercise

After the exercise, debrief with the following questions:

  • What did you learn about yourself.

  • What did you learn about others

  • What did you learn about truthful communication

  • What did you learn about the value of teams

And that’s it. If you can overcome your own fear of emotional discomfort, this activity will put you six moths down the line in building trust and improve employee motivation.

Good luck and enjoy



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Return from An Exercise in Building Trust to Team Motivation

Return from An Exercise in Building Trust to Sustainable Employee Motivation


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