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The Secret to Effective Communication: Choose your Focus

I have used the following model many times to ensure effective communication.

It is a great way to pull yourself and the person/s that you have the conversation with out of the mud when you are stuck.

In fact, I have used this model successfully in ALL conversations. With employees. With my wife. With my children. Anywhere.

This model basically helps to improve awareness during any conversation. It helps you to focus on the process rather than the content of the conversation.

But before I carry on, let me show you the model.

I saw it the first time at Results Coaching Systems and as I have mentioned, I have used it successfully in the past...especially when a conversations seems to head south.

I just love the name of the model. It's simple and tells you exactly how to use it. The secret to effective communication is to choose your focus.

Most of the time when we are in a conversation, we are so focused on the content that we are completely unaware of where our focus is during the whole process.

Let’s have a closer look at the model.


Vision

Vision thinking is all about the “WHY” or “WHAT”. It’s about the ultimate big picture. Why are we having this conversation? What are we trying to achieve?


Planning

This is about HOW you are going to get to your vision. There are no details yet.

If I want to get from Paris to London, the vision might be to get from Paris to London in the most enjoyable way.

The planning phase would NOT be planning the route…that’s the detail. First step is to decide when to go. The second step is to explore different modes of transport. The third step might be to determine the parameter of the trip (budget, scenery, time, Etc). The fourth step could be to decide on the best mode that would fit the parameter.

As you can see, there are no details here. Just process.

To ensure effective communication, eighty percent of your time should be spent in the planning and vision phase. However, I have found that most people (including myself) tend to move straight back into the details, problems and drama.

Don’t worry. Effective communication is all about awareness. It’s simple, but it takes a lot of practice. Once you are aware of this model, it’s actually quite easy to get out of the habit of focusing on the details, problem and drama.


Details

Details are simply that. The details of doing. Very necessary in any process but it is a bit like quicksand. You can easily get lost or stuck in it.

So whenever you feel any conversation is going nowhere...or that it’s going in circles, ask yourself the following question, “Where's my/our focus? How can we get back to the planning and vision phase? What did we want to achieve with this conversation/process/project again?”

As I have mentioned, details are crucial in effective communication. The only challenge is that you will get lost quite easy if you are not aware.


Problems

This is where things go wrong. Once you get lost in the details, it can easy lead you straight to the problem focus if you are not aware. Unfortunately, problems are a common experience for many people…because there are lots of them.

Avoiding a problem-focused attitude, doesn’t mean that you don’t solve problems. To the contrary. You can still solve problems, coming from a vision and planning focus.

Let me give you an example. Lets say something went wrong in your day to day operations and it’s creating a huge problem.

Asking questions like, “Who did this?” and “Why did you do it?” takes you straight into the details problems and drama.

However, questions like. “What do we want to achieve here?” and “What’s the quickest way to fix this?” look at the problem from a vision and planning point of view…it focus on solutions.


Drama

This is where everything else is falling apart and the only thing left is the emotional charge. Once you get to this stage in any conversation, you are way past the point of having effective communication.

If you can’t get yourselves back to the vision and planning part, it is best to take a break and continue the conversation when the drama and emotions had faded away.


How to Use this Model to Ensure Effective Communication?

Whenever you engage with more than one person, make sure that you put this model somewhere where everyone can see it. Whenever anyone feels that the communication is stuck or going in circles, s/he, can then stop the process and ask everyone to re-focus their energy.

It is the same when you engage with one of your employees, your wife, your children or anyone else. Whenever you feel stuck, ask your self the question, “Where is my focus?”


In the end, effective communication is all about awareness and the “Choose your Focus” model goes a long way in helping you to be more aware.



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Return from The Secret to Effective Communication to Intrinsic Motivation

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