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So what is driving our emotions? Our thinking patterns…or thinking maps.
It is not the events in our lives that make us sad, frustrated, excited or angry. It is the way we think about these events.
Let me explain...
An Event Happen and it all Unfolds
Events are things that get our attention. A mosquito biting you is an event. Winning the lottery is an event. Your spouse packing up and leaving is an event. Promotions, layoffs and an upset client on the phone are all events. Even death is an event.One thing we have to remember is that you can’t control the events that are happening in your life. Like they say…stuff happens.
We interpret events based on our points of view, attitudes, opinions, beliefs, perceptions and assumptions, past experiences, memories and generalizations. All these shape our thinking maps and how we interpret events...positive thinking and negative thinking.
Depending on that emotion, we behave in a certain way.
How we behave sometimes influences whether or not we produce the results we want.
Let me use an example.
| Let’s say you are driving on the highway to an important meeting. All of a sudden you hit a traffic jam and there you sit. Now you start worrying about being late for the meeting and you become all tensed up. To top it all, you look in the rear view mirror and you see a car driving on the shoulder of the road. Just as it's about to pass you, the driver see a traffic cop and try to push in, in front of you and give your car a tiny scratch in the process. Now just take a couple of seconds to think what your typical emotions and behavior would be in this situation. I know there are exceptions, but most people will experience frustration and anger and become confrontational. Let’s say you do get out of your car and just as you are about to confront the other driver, he walks up to you and say “I am so terribly sorry. My 2 year old son is lying in the back seat of my car. He had an asthma attack and I need to get him to the hospital. My thoughts weren’t on the road.” Think again what your emotions and behavior would be now. Different? |
What happened here? In the first instance you’ve experienced emotions based on how you interpret the event. Your interpretation of somebody driving like that was probably not positive.
Then you got ready to react on those emotions.
When the person apologized and told his story, you changed your interpretation of the event…and with it, your emotions probably changed as well.
Nothing in that particular event changed. It was only your interpretations that changed. By default you changed from negative thinking to positive thinking.
The bottom Line
| The really important stuff is how we respond to the events in our lives. The events are not really that important. What greatly influence how we respond to events, are our emotions...and our emotions are driven by our thinking maps; how we interpret the event. If we can direct those thoughts in positive thinking, it will lead to positive emotions and responses. |
The Power of our Thinking Maps
Our thinking maps are our assumptions, beliefs, prejudices and generalizations about ourselves, the world and how it all fits togetherThe function of maps is to act as a guide as we go from point A to point B. Our internal thinking maps function in the same way, as guides to help us get through specific situations and life in general.
Important Points about Thinking Maps
Firstly, thinking maps is not a good or a bad thing. It’s just the way our brain is wired.Without the ability to generalize, to make assumptions, to connect the dots as it were, our ancestors would never have been successful in passing our genes. (Here comes a leopard. Are we sure it is a leopard? Just because it looks like a leopard….stuff that, lets run)
Without thinking maps, we would have trouble getting out of bed every morning. We’d have to think about every little thing.
| So, we make assumptions; we are full of prejudges. We make stuff up. And that is my second important point about thinking maps. Where do they come from? We make them up…In fact; we all graduated from MSU, the University of making stuff up. We are incredibly skilled to go from one or two pieces of information to “this is how things are!” |
Fortunately we are usually close enough to the mark to get along in this world. But quite often our made-up maps are really inaccurate and yet they are running unchallenged in our thinking. We don't think how we think. If we do it, we can re-direct our thoughts in positive thinking.
Others are very close to accurate and complete. Those maps are the essence of positive thinking.
So the key question to ponder is: Are your thinking maps inaccurate and incomplete? Are they based on positive thinking? Or have they been updated, researched and challenged and are therefore highly accurate?
Interpretations
We hold maps of the world, of ourselves and how everything works and fit together. Thinking maps are often difficult to get at. They are often unconscious assumptions. We don’t often realize what we are thinking. If we are unaware of our thinking patterns, positive thinking only happens by default.Our interpretations that we make up based on our maps are often right there in front of us; in our self-talk...what we are constantly saying to ourselves. It tells us if we use positive thinking or negative thinking.
Let me illustrate further by using two examples of the power of thoughts and emotion
| Let’s say you hold a map that says “people can’t be trusted until they prove they can be” Now an event happens. You are left of a list for an off site staff meeting. Based on your map, your immediate gut interpretation – with no further evidence needed- is that they meant to do it. It is a conspiracy to drive you out of the company. All those people have been after you since the beginning! And they think you are paranoid? You’ll show them paranoid! And so on and so on… Granted, it is possible that is a conspiracy. But are there (just possibly) other interpretations of why your name was left of the list? Maybe just an oversight? Is the meeting about a project you’re not involved in? A typo? |
Another example
| Let’s say you hold the thinking map “I am my job” (Much like the map “I am my car”) You are a Vice President, a Nurse, a Pilot, a Shop Foreman. That is your map of you. Then along comes the event of being fired. How do you interpret the event? What meaning do you make out of getting fired? “I’m nothing. I’m worthless. My life is over. My life is a joke. Of course, being fired can be a serious traumatic event. But the key question remains: Are there other interpretations? Is there another way of thinking about the event of getting fired? Is there any possibility of positive thinking in this situation? How about:
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The point is that events don’t carry any meaning. We assigned meaning based on our thinking maps… both the ones we have made up as individuals and the ones we have “made up” as cultures.
Change your interpretation; change how you respond and bang; you can begin to better influence the results you produce in your life...and with your employees.
Famous Incomplete and Inaccurate Maps
| “THERE ARE NO LIKELIHOOD THAT MAN CAN EVER TAP THE POWER OF THE ATOM” Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize Physics, 1923 “HEAVIER THAN AIR FLYING MACHINES ARE IMPOSSIBLE” “EVERYTHING THAT CAN BE INVENTED HAS ALREADY BEEN INVENTED” “SENSIBLE AND RESPONSIBLE WOMEN DO NOT WANT TO VOTE” “WHO THE HELL WANT TO SEE ACTORS TALK” |
All of the above were people in positions of power and influence. As a result of their maps, what are some of the interpretations they came up with? How were they responding to events?
Are you right now holding similar, wildly inaccurate and incomplete maps?
Become aware of your thinking maps...it's the key to positive thinking.
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